She’s pleased to meet you. Oh wait, no, she doesn’t really care.
Crystal and I both agreed vehemently that if we were called for a placement with Asher’s caseworker – Shotgun Jane – we would say no without question. I breathed a sigh of relief when DCFS called about Parker and the caseworker was someone I had never heard of before. Early on in our interactions with Indifferent Ingrid (the new caseworker) we were irritated with her lack of communication and initiative in letting us know when (and if!) we’d get Parker. As time has gone on, her blatant apathy regarding Parker’s well-being has been startling.
Our initial face-to-face meeting began with her explaining that Bio Mom was going to attend a day-treatment program and like so many State-funded “Mommy-and-Me” programs, the baby must attend with mom in order for mom to get treatment. This seems entirely backwards – shouldn’t Bio Mom be able to get the help she needs before regaining partial custody?
So Indifferent Ingrid says casually, “so Parker will probably go with mom soon.” To which I responded, “oh, so this is a residential program where she will have supervision and assistance with the baby living with her?”
This caused Indifferent Ingrid to pause and think for a moment. ”No…it’s not residential.”
“So where does the baby go at night?” I ask.
Silence. The caseworker scrunches up her face in confusion and looks away. Clearly, she had not considered this. Mom has not yet completed her “case plan” – the things that she needs to do to regain custody of Parker. (Not a result of not trying, just the reality that its only been 3 months and she has not even began treatment). Thus, legally, she cannot just “take” the baby back – program or not.
“Hmmm….” she says, nervously scratching her scalp. “I didn’t think about that part. I guess we’d just have you keep her at night.”
Luckily the day-treatment program has actually considered such situations and has a fleet of van drivers that go out every morning, pick up babies and children, and haul them back to the center, where they (apparently, from the crumbs of information we get) spend part of the day in a daycare, and part of the day with their moms as they attend parenting classes and therapy.
The positive side (if you want to see it), is that this saves us a pile of money for daycare, since Parker will be gone for the hours I’m at school. She also gets to see Bio Mom daily, which is good for attachment, since Indifferent Ingrid also mentioned that they’d be doing a “Trial Home Placement” (which we know all about from Asher) soon, where Parker will join her six siblings who have stayed with Bio Mom through all this. (Too soon? Hell yes, but what does DCFS care? It looks good for their statistics to reunite quickly.)
I’ve learned that the mark of a good caseworker is the distance they keep with the child when they’re right in front of them. Gabriella’s caseworkers were warm and playful with her. London’s caseworker (who was amazing), was always quick to ask to hold her during visits (which actually happened regularly). Asher’s first caseworker, Caseworker Bob, always reached for Asher, played with him, and tried to get a good giggle before leaving house visits. Shotgun Jane refused to hold Asher, or even refer to him by name. It was always “The Baby.” Indifferent Ingrid is the same. She has yet to look at Parker directly, hold her, talk to her, or smile at her (which actually takes a fair amount of effort with a cute baby girl). The most she’s talked about her was in a compliment on my carseat and JJCole BundleMe. (That has nothing to do with the baby, you say? Exactly.) The oddest part of all of it is that she herself has an infant son, whom I’ve seen her interact with when she had him in the office one day. She was the typical warm, playful, doting mother.
I guess she just doesn’t care when it’s someone else’s kid. A foster kid.
Lovely, no? Just the type of person you want acting in the “best interests” (cough cough) of the child.
I mean, seriously? Who can resist smiling back at this baby?
